“Lifted and Gifted: A Totally Rad Guide to Ski Lift Styles”
What’s up, shred heads! Let’s talk about the unsung hero of the mountain: the ski lift. Without it, we’d all be hiking uphill like a bunch of overly optimistic backcountry bros. But not all lifts are created equal. Some are smooth and speedy, while others feel like they were designed by someone who’s never even seen a mountain. So buckle in—literally—as we explore the wild world of ski lifts, snowboarder-style.
1. The Chairlift: The Classic Cruiser
The OG of ski lifts, the chairlift is your dependable homie. Whether you’re hitting gnarly park laps or cruising blues with your crew, this lift has your back.
- Why It’s Rad: Plenty of time to strap in, adjust your tunes, and silently judge skiers’ questionable jacket choices.
- Why It’s Not: Getting stuck halfway up because someone didn’t get off properly (looking at you, Jerry).
- Pro Tip: If you don’t know how to get off gracefully, just lean into the fall. You’ll entertain everyone, I promise.
2. The High-Speed Quad: The Cadillac of Lifts
Smooth, fast, and efficient—this bad boy gets you up the hill quicker than your buddy can say, “One more run!”
- Why It’s Rad: Less time sitting, more time shredding. Plus, the padded seats scream luxury.
- Why It’s Not: Everyone fights for these lifts, so prepare for lift-line carnage.
- Pro Tip: Keep your tips up, especially if the liftie is giving you side-eye.
3. The Magic Carpet: The Beginner’s Conveyor of Shame
A glorified treadmill that transports groms and first-timers up the bunny hill.
- Why It’s Rad: If you’re teaching someone to shred, it saves you from lugging them up manually.
- Why It’s Not: It’s about as thrilling as a DMV waiting room. Plus, standing still while it moves feels awkward.
- Pro Tip: Perfect your fake smile as you pass the parents filming their kids’ first wipeout.
4. The T-Bar: The Leg Day Destroyer
This throwback lift is half ski lift, half medieval torture device. You stand with one foot strapped in, holding on for dear life.
- Why It’s Rad: Builds character.
- Why It’s Not: If you’re on a snowboard, it builds a deep hatred for whoever thought this was a good idea.
- Pro Tip: Ride it like a surfboard. Not for the faint of heart—or weak-legged.
5. The Rope Tow: The Hand-Shredder
Who thought it’d be fun to grab a rope and let it yank you uphill?
- Why It’s Rad: You can pretend you’re some kind of snow cowboy, wrangling the mountain.
- Why It’s Not: Rope burns. So much rope burn.
- Pro Tip: Wear gloves unless you want to spend après-ski bandaging your hands.
6. The Gondola: The VIP Lounge
For those who like to stay warm, dry, and slightly bougie, the gondola is where it’s at.
- Why It’s Rad: Full enclosure means no freezing your face off. Perfect for mid-lift snacks or deep philosophical chats.
- Why It’s Not: Unloading a snowboard in a crowded gondola station = chaos.
- Pro Tip: Claim the corner seat for optimal chill vibes and avoid awkward eye contact.
7. The Poma Lift: The T-Bar’s Evil Twin
Another standing lift, but this one has a disc that you awkwardly stick between your legs.
- Why It’s Rad: Short lift lines, usually because everyone’s avoiding it.
- Why It’s Not: “Wedgie-inducing” doesn’t even begin to cover it.
- Pro Tip: Channel your inner cowboy and hold on tight.
8. The Double Chairlift: The Intimate Throwback
Before high-speed quads ruled the mountain, the double chair was king. It’s cozy, a little rickety, and perfect for awkward small talk.
- Why It’s Rad: Vintage vibes, plus a great excuse to ditch your chatty friend (“Sorry, dude, it’s only two seats!”).
- Why It’s Not: Slow. So. Incredibly. Slow.
- Pro Tip: Make sure your buddy doesn’t spill their trail mix all over your lap.
Final Thoughts
Ski lifts are like Tinder dates—some are smooth and efficient, others are awkward and mildly traumatic. But at the end of the day, they all serve the same purpose: getting you to the top so you can shred your heart out. Whether you’re cruising on a gondola or wrestling with a T-bar, just remember—it’s all part of the adventure.
Stay stoked, stay slick, and keep sending it!
