Keep Tips Up

“Chairlift Chronicles: How to Load and Unload Without Looking Like a Jerry”

What’s up, snow warriors? Today, we’re tackling the great equalizer of the slopes—the chairlift. You can be the sickest shredder out there, pulling corked 720s in the park, but if you botch the chairlift routine? Total rookie vibes.

So let’s break it down: the do’s, don’ts, and “please never do that again” moments of loading and unloading a chairlift. Stick with me, and you’ll look like a pro, even if you spend the next run yard-saling down the mountain.

Step 1: Approach with Confidence

The first rule of the lift line? Act like you belong, even if you don’t. Keep your snowboard unstrapped (or one foot in if you’re a boarder), shuffle forward, and avoid tripping over the magic carpet that slides you into position.

Pro Tip: Don’t be the person who misses their turn because they’re busy adjusting their goggles or taking a selfie. Lifties do not have time for that.

Step 2: The Sit-and-Slide

As the chair swoops around, it’s go time. You’ve got one job: sit down smoothly and let the chair do the work.

For Skiers: Keep your poles up and your skis straight. Don’t cross your tips unless you want to look like you’ve never left the bunny hill.
For Snowboarders: Point your board forward and sit down like you mean it. None of this half-perched, wobble-to-the-side nonsense.
What Not to Do: Don’t flail, hesitate, or scream, “Wait, I’m not ready!” The chairlift waits for no one.

Step 3: Chill on the Ride Up

Once you’re seated, pull the safety bar down (unless you’re one of those “too cool for safety” people). Use this time to soak in the views, adjust your gear, or talk smack about who’s going to eat it on the next run.

Pro Tip: Don’t forget to keep your board or skis pointed forward. Nobody likes getting whacked by someone else’s gear.
Bonus Points: Throw in a casual wave to the folks below—you know, the ones still waiting in line.

Step 4: Prep for Landing

As you approach the top, lift the safety bar, but for the love of powder, don’t do it too early. That’s how people end up dangling halfway up the hill.

For Snowboarders: Shift your weight to your free foot and get ready to glide.
For Skiers: Keep your tips up (literally the golden rule of unloading). Crossed skis = instant disaster.

Step 5: The Grand Exit

When the lift hits the unload zone, it’s time to shine. Stand up smoothly and let gravity do its thing.

For Snowboarders: Glide away gracefully, keeping your balance like the chill shredding legend you are.
For Skiers: Push off and glide like you’re starring in your own ski movie.
What Not to Do: Don’t just sit there. Seriously, that’s how liftie horror stories are born.

Advanced Tips for Not Being That Guy

Don’t Panic: If you fall, just scoot yourself out of the way. Fast. The next chair is already gunning for you.
Be a Team Player: If you’re with a group, give your squad space to unload. Nobody wants a pileup at the top.
Liftie Love: Thank your lift operators. They’re the unsung heroes of your day, keeping the lift spinning while dodging your flailing limbs.

Final Thoughts

Mastering the chairlift is like nailing your first grab: once you’ve got it, you’re unstoppable. Whether you’re cruising the greens or bombing the blacks, a smooth chairlift routine is key to keeping your shred cred intact.

So go forth, sit down, and stand up like the slope slayer you were born to be. And if you mess it up? Just laugh it off and blame your gear—it’s what we all do.