First Chair Fisticuffs

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ppwaxshop

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December 2, 2024

First Chair Fisticuffs: Why Throwing Down for the Lift Line is a Total Jerry Move

Alright, snow fiends, let’s talk about an issue that’s been shredding my vibe lately: people duking it out for the first chair. Yeah, we all want those untracked first turns—fresh pow, corduroy smoother than a jazz sax solo, and bragging rights to fuel your après stories. But throwing hands over it? Bruh, that’s some Jerry-level nonsense.

Let’s break down why fighting for first chair is about as cool as yard-saling under the lift.

1. Violence Isn’t Steezy

You know what’s rad? Dropping into a double-black and stomping your line. You know what’s not? Windmilling your arms at some rando because they got to the lift five seconds before you. What are you gonna do, bro? Karate chop their pass? Save the energy for slashing pow or hitting the park. Your snowboard (and dignity) will thank you.

2. First Chair Isn’t Even That Sacred

Here’s the cold, hard truth: unless you’re heli-dropping onto untouched terrain, someone’s always going to get there first. Even if you’re the inaugural butt on the chair, ski patrol probably got to the goods before you. So, chill. There’s plenty of slope stoke to go around. Plus, it’s not like you’re going to beat the locals who’ve been camped out since dawn.

3. Lift Line Brawls Are Peak Jerry Behavior

We all know the golden rule of shredding: Don’t be a Jerry. Getting into a fistfight over first chair is the ultimate Jerry move. You’re basically announcing, “I don’t know how to chill, and I probably can’t even ollie.” Be better. You don’t want to be the dude everyone’s talking about while sipping hot cocoa at après.

4. Karma’s Real, Dude

Let’s say you throw some elbows and manage to snag that coveted first chair. You know what happens next? You blow your line, yard sale your gear, and end up face-first in the pow while everyone on the lift points and laughs. Karma’s got a sense of humor, and she doesn’t take kindly to chairlift scrappers.

5. There’s More Than One Way to Win the Day

If you’re really gunning for a legendary sesh, it’s not about beating everyone to the lift. It’s about shredding smarter, not harder. Scout your runs, watch the snow reports, and find the secret stash no one else knows about. Or just make friends with ski patrol—they’ve got the beta. Pro tip: They also frown on lift-line brawls.

What to Do Instead of Throwing Hands:

Pre-Dawn Stoke: Get up early, grab a coffee, and enjoy the sunrise. Being the first car in the lot feels almost as good as first chair (and you won’t get punched in the process).
Make Friends, Not Enemies: Chat with your fellow shred enthusiasts. Maybe they’ll share their secret pow spot. Or maybe they won’t. Either way, you’ll look cooler than the guy throwing haymakers.
Embrace Second Chair: Honestly, the lift ride is the same, and the mountain isn’t going anywhere. It’s not like the first chair magically makes you better at riding.

Final Thoughts: Don’t Be That Guy

First chair is cool, but your reputation as a chill shredder is cooler. Leave the fists for the arcade punch machine at après, and focus on what really matters: sending it, stomping it, and vibing with your fellow snow enthusiasts. Because at the end of the day, it’s not about how fast you got up the lift—it’s about how hard you send it down the hill.

Keep it slick, keep it peaceful, and remember: no Jerry moves allowed.