Black Friday: The Darkest Day of the Year.

Black Friday: The Darkest Day of the Year. And How Wax Friday is Here to Save Us All.

Ah, Black Friday. The day when the air is thick with desperation, the stores are jam-packed with bargain-hunting zombies, and everyone forgets what the word “holiday” actually means. You know the drill—early morning chaos, arm-wrestling over the last 4K TV, fighting for the last pair of discounted socks like your very survival depends on it. And if you’re lucky, you’ll get home in one piece… with a busted shopping cart and your soul a little more shattered than before.

Let’s be real: Black Friday is evil. The only thing it prepares you for is a stomach full of regret and an extra 20 pounds of junk you didn’t need. It’s the devil’s playground, where materialism rules the day, and the lines between “need” and “want” become so blurry, you need a new set of ski goggles to see straight.

But what if—just what if—there were a better way to spend the day? A way to avoid the madness, resist the lure of those 70% off deals, and instead focus on something that’s actually good for your soul?

Introducing Wax Friday.

What is Wax Friday, you ask? Well, it’s the spiritual opposite of Black Friday. It’s the day when you hit the slopes of your own mind and prepare for the coming of winter in the best way possible: by waxing, tuning, and perfecting your ski and snowboard gear. Wax Friday isn’t about mindless consumerism; it’s about getting yourself—and your equipment—ready for the glorious shred season ahead. You take the day to focus on what really matters: shredding the gnar, carving up the slopes, and owning every run like you’re the only one on the mountain.

So, forget about fighting over doorbusters at Walmart. Let’s talk about a rebranding revolution that will change your life: Wax Friday.

The Dark Side of Black Friday

Before we get into the sweet, waxy goodness of Wax Friday, let’s take a moment to talk about the pure evil that is Black Friday. It’s like the mountain’s evil twin—think of it as the icy, snowy terrain that looks so inviting from a distance, but once you get on it, it’s a total disaster. The lines are long, the deals are questionable, and if you don’t get there early enough, you end up with a 12-pack of socks that are two sizes too small and a shopping cart full of things you’ll never, ever use.

Black Friday is the antithesis of fun. The adrenaline rush isn’t from hitting a gnarly powder run, it’s from charging through crowds of desperate shoppers. The “bargains” you snag are more about surviving the chaos than actually scoring a win. And let’s not even get started on the “after-party”—a fridge full of leftover turkey and a stack of receipts you’ll never look at again.

No, no. Black Friday is pure evil. But Wax Friday? Now we’re talking.

Wax Friday: The True Holiday of the Shredder

Instead of draining your bank account on stuff you don’t need, Wax Friday is all about investing in the one thing that really matters: your gear. Think about it. You’ve got your snowboard, your skis, your boots, your helmet, and all your protective gear—but have you truly prepared them for the season? No, you’ve been neglecting them, leaving them in the corner like an abandoned puppy. This is the day to fix that.

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Gather Your Gear and Take a Long, Hard Look at It

Don’t just throw your skis and board in the back of your closet. Take them out, dust them off, and give them a solid inspection. You’ve probably been too busy Netflix-and-chilling through summer to even think about your gear, but now it’s time to face reality. Your board is probably looking a little rough—scratches, dings, maybe even a little rust on the edges? It’s okay, we’ve all been there. But Wax Friday is the day you show your gear the love it deserves.

Step 2: Get Your Wax On

Now, this is where the magic happens. Grab your wax (be it for skis, snowboards, or both) and go to town. I’m not talking about a half-hearted, slap-it-on-there kind of wax. I’m talking about the real deal—heat it up, rub it in, get into every crevice, and smooth out those edges. We’re talking precision here, folks. Your gear is like a Ferrari, and you’re the mechanic making sure it’s running at top speed. Waxing is an art, and if done right, it’ll have you sliding down the slopes faster than a ninja on a skateboard. And let’s not forget about those edges—sharp enough to carve the mountain like a hot knife through butter. This is the stuff that makes you a shred king (or queen), not a shopping mall peasant.

Step 3: Tune the Heck Out of Your Gear

Don’t stop at just waxing. Take a file to those edges, buff the base, tighten the bindings, and make sure everything is in perfect working order. This is about performance. This is about the feeling of hitting that first run of the season, knowing that your gear is absolutely dialed in. It’s like the difference between getting stuck in a Black Friday traffic jam and effortlessly carving down a double black diamond.

Step 4: Celebrate Your Snowboard/Ski Power

Once you’re done waxing, it’s time to admire your work. Look at that board. Look at those skis. They’re ready to rip. And so are you. You’ve just turned a day of consumerist hell into a day of empowerment, prepping your equipment to face the winter’s challenges head-on. You’re not just getting ready for any ordinary ski day—you’re getting ready for a season of slaying the mountain, owning every run, and shredding like it’s nobody’s business.

Step 5: Enjoy the Rest of Wax Friday (A.K.A. The Real Celebration)

So, what do you do after you’ve spent all day tuning your gear? Well, you kick back and relax—no mobs, no stress, just some good vibes and maybe a few rounds of snowboarding movies to get you hyped. You’ve done the work, and now it’s time to reap the rewards. The mountain is waiting for you, and come opening day, you’ll be the one carving turns while everyone else is still sleeping off their turkey coma.

Conclusion: Ditch Black Friday, Embrace Wax Friday

Let’s face it: Black Friday is for the weak. It’s the day when we let our impulses take over and our wallets take a hit. Wax Friday, on the other hand, is for the strong—the riders who are all about preparing their gear for the epic season ahead. You don’t need any sales to feel good. You just need your gear in top shape and the mountain at your feet.

So this year, say goodbye to the chaos of Black Friday and embrace the pure, unadulterated joy of Wax Friday. Your gear deserves it. And so do you.

Stay sharp, ride hard, and let the season begin.